I was able to meet with Copper two times. I first met him at the K-9 Unit's puppy supper at Don Ramon's during Folsom weekend last year. He was in puppy mode, a handsome young man, very cute, with a bite that no one would mess with. He exhibited an intense energy, pouncing on you with full force! I immediately liked him! I saw him again later that night, tied to a St. Andrew's cross getting flogged. He was howling in ecstasy, screaming "THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!?" his intensity now in human form echoed off the walls.
The next time I'd see him would be at a cafe after the Folsom fair. Cockpit, Brue, Wolf, Spencer, Copper and I all ate dinner together. At the end of the meal, and against Brue's wishes, Copper got up and paid for us all. He was so generous. Later that night we went to a club called Badlands and danced, after we left, Copper drove Coy and I back to the hotel in his Jeep.
I wouldn't see Copper again until December, when Cockpit and I came up for Puppy Christmas. After we had gone to see Totem, Copper roomed with us that night, he was so sexy and handsome, and he reeked of dominant energy for someone so young, younger than myself. A very powerful energy. I remember there was something about it that I didn't believe at first, and I felt a bit competitive of it. We had a wonderful lunch together that afternoon before heading to the playspace to help set up for the party.
That night we headed over to the Studd bar for the furry party, Frolic. I remember right before we went in I asked Cockpit who he wanted to hold his leash for the night. He looked torn for a moment and said if he could have Copper handle him for the night. I was only too happy to oblige, the entire time we were all together he was so eager to be around him. Following him like a boy follows a Sir, keeping in step, doing as he asked. I had planned to give Copper Cockpit's leash for the weekend from the start. I just really wanted Cockpit to say it. Copper bought me a shot of Jagermeister that night when we were on the dance floor, and it helped me relax and let loose. Thanks for the shot, handsome.
We would crash in the same bed once more that night with Wolf.
The next day we set up for the Christmas party, I helped Copper put down the floor mats. After all was finished, and the party was up and died down a little Copper and Spike faced off on the puppy mats, Spike won and pinned him. Then directly after, Sky challenged Copper and won. I remember asking Copper as he left the mats...
"What did I just see?"
He replied,
"You saw me letting them win."
Later that night when we were cleaning up, Copper joined Cockpit, Wolf, and myself in stomping the prop gift boxes we used for decorations. That was a lot of fun! He enjoyed it too, using some martial arts punches on the boxes, which was really impressive. He roomed with us one last time that night, an incident concerning my title vest and Muir cap had bothered me from the night prior, and he gave me two pieces of sage advice.
Copper reassured me that I just needed to be true to what my interpretation of leather was. He said that he could see that I took a lot of stock in Honor. He said that I honored Cockpit by wearing the Muir Cap he presented to me, and he said that I honored my leather by wearing it out.
He also told me a story...
Copper once worked at Mr. S Leather, this particular day he was wearing his flogger on his belt, on the left (Dominant) side, as he had recently completed his training. He also wore his Sir's collar. A customer approached him and said
"You're wearing your flogger on the wrong side, boy! Relinquish your flogger and present your back."
Copper, in sales mode and unsure as to what the customer wanted, politely refused and asked if he needed to find anything. The customer repeated himself, "Relinquish your flogger and present your back." Copper refused again, and the customer reached out and grabbed Copper's collar.
(In the traditional leather world, Old Guard tradition states this as a horrific act of disrespect. Touching the collar of a boy is a huge violation of respect and personal space, and it is an insult to the boy and to his Sir. You never, ever do this. Whether you follow Old Guard or not.)
Copper calmly said "I'll give you to the count of three to release me."
The customer didn't release his collar.
"One."
The customer didn't release his collar.
"Two."
The customer tightened his grip.
"Three."
Copper grabbed the customer's hand, and rotated his wrist, resulting in the customer releasing his collar as well as howling in horrible pain.
Just because boys, slaves, and pups subscribe to a submissive role does not make us your public property to be played with with as you please. I encourage all boys, subs, slaves, and pups to learn self-defense moves in order to escape these types of situations. Do not just take abuse like this, stand up for yourself!
It was in January when I heard that Copper was no longer on this Earth. Cockpit called, and came over immediately. His face told me something was very wrong. He never looks like that. He told me that Copper had taken his own life.
We will never know why exactly, but what is known is that he is no longer suffering, and he is at peace. I am certain he would want me to press onward, not to stay in sadness, but to charge forward into joy, and to bring more joy to those in my life. To stand up for my myself, and not take any lip or crap from anyone. Not even myself. This also instilled a sense of urgency in me, doing things when I can, at that moment. Saying things when I can, at the most available moment. Don't wait, because life doesn't wait.
Thank you, Copper. I love you.
Play Safe, dear reader.
I am always saddened by a turn of events like this. As Fetishmen, we have a lot of demons inside of us. This time the result was a terrible loss.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathies and condolences to all who knew him.