Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Doughy Birthday Boy

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

Tonight my puppy and I planned to head out to the Los Angeles Eagle bar for a pleasant evening of puppy / Handler time and enjoying a blue collar themed bear night.  Unfortunately due to an errant bag of chips having some MSG in them, my poor pup came down with a nasty headache, and I decided we would stay home and have him rest instead.

After a few hours of cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, my pup asked me if I'd like my birthday present.  He wasn't able to make it for my actual birthday, so we made the whole weekend a celebration.  I eagerly accepted and he instructed me to wait in the bathroom with the door shut so it wouldn't spoil my surprise.  I smiled and did so, fiddling with my phone as I waited.  When all was ready he told me through the door to stand in the tub, naked.  Not thinking too much about it, I did so, and told him I was ready.  For the brief pause I had I did start to think of what he could need me to be naked and in the tub for, but that's the moment when he hurried in with a large bowl and I suddenly was covered in something warm and gloppy!

As I let out a delighted gasp of surprise he smiled and said "Happy Birthday, Handler!" The last thing I saw was his big grin before the slop covered my eyes.  It was smooth, warm, thick, and wonderful!  Such a sensual feeling as it draped over my naked body, I rubbed it all over me, tasting it as it dripped into my mouth, a batter with a light sweetness to it.  I was in a mess of bliss.  My puppy, who isn't even interested in messy play like I am, went through the trouble of mixing up a huge batch of batter and poured pitcherfuls of the gloppy mess all over me, he's so wonderful to me.

After the last of it was poured over my head and I enjoyed it to the last slop I thanked him with a kiss and we started to clean me off.  Unfortunately that's when we found a problem.  My puppy had used pancake mix for the batter, and it had begun to dough up in tiny little balls and stick in my hair.  All over my legs, my arms, chest, beard, hair, and even in the crack of my ass were tiny dough balls stuck everywhere.  My pup was so very apologetic, and we spent the next hour washing, combing, and scrubbing the dough balls off of me as the water turned colder and colder.  Many laughs were had, and my pup was not shy at all to make jokes at my expense, saying that if I farted it would smell like hush puppies, or that the next guy to eat out my ass would be craving IHOP afterwards.  When we got at least 90% of it out, I dried off and my pup said that he had gunged me first as an elaborate introduction to my birthday present.

He went into the hall and picked up a towel-covered box, pulling off the makeshift cover, he revealed a mixer set just like the one he had which I coveted.  It would really help declutter my kitchen and because he knew I love to cook.  I have the best puppy in the world!  We spent the rest of the night laughing about the messy mistake, and plucking dough out of my hair!  I can't wait to see what he does for next year!

I love you, Cockpit.

Play Safe Dear Reader, and NEVER USE PANCAKE MIX BATTER AS A GUNGE SUBSTANCE.