Monday, July 11, 2011

Public Dungeon Etiquette

A recent trip to a play dungeon has shown me that a few people seem to be oblivious to, or just simply disregard the rules of dungeon etiquette.

For future reference here they are, please read them carefully.

1) Keep Quiet!

Do not speak while observing a scene, if you want to have a conversation then by all means have one - outside the play area.  Find the lobby and go talk there.  I'm really not interested in the conversation you're having when I'm being flogged by my Sir, or training a sub.  It rips me out of head space and can really ruin a guy's night.  A night that he or someone else has so graciously paid for!  So do us a favor,  shut the fuck up.

2) Do Not Touch!

This has, shockingly, actually happened to me once.  When I say shocking, I mean "You've got to be kidding me, people really are this rude?" shocking.  When you see a scene going on, DO NOT JOIN IN UNLESS SPECIFICALLY AND CLEARLY INVITED BY THE DOMINANT OF THE SCENE!  Do you realize just how creepy and violating it is to have some complete stranger coming into your scene without warning?  For example, one night I was playing with a Sir of mine and he had me down on a leather table working my body over, when suddenly some random guy comes up out of the darkness, and starts playing with my balls.  I was so caught off guard and forced into a mental corner that consisted of a mixture of helpless subspace, and utter disgust.  Who the fuck are you?  I don't know you!  Get the hell away from me!  If that doesn't ruin someone's night, I don't know what would.
Don't you EVER intrude on a scene!  Ever!  That's disgustingly rude!

3) Keep Your Distance!

Observing a scene is fine, it's really hot seeing two guys getting into it.  Sometimes they even appreciate an audience, as long as they stay more than an arm's length away from the scene that is.  You can really disrupt someone's head space when you're hovering over them.  A sub may and very likely will even feel threatened by someone standing so close when they are completely helpless and in the deepness of subspace.  My advice is to stay by the doorway, if the scene is in a big room, then imagine the dom is using a whip, and stay out of striking distance.

4) No Means No!

As with all play you should always ask if the person you're interested in would like to play.  Make your intentions clear, and leave nothing to assumption.  "Hey I wanted to let you know I find you really sexy, and wanted to see if you'd be interested in me tying you to the bondage chair over there." If the person refuses, politely leave them alone.  Don't hound them or try to break them down.  "I'm not interested." means "I'm not interested."  Get used to rejection, not everyone wants to play with everyone.  I've asked someone if they wanted to play, and I received a flat out "No."  I smiled, said "Understood, sorry to bother you." and moved on.  No big deal, the dungeon was filled with other guys and scenes to enjoy.  What's one guy?

5) Clean Up After Yourself!

This really irritates me, you're in a dungeon, the room you like the most is empty and you can't wait to play.  You step inside and...what is that?  Someone left a used condom on the fuck bench!  There's a cum spurt still on the St. Andrew's Cross!  Who left their god damn beer on the bondage table!?  What the fuck is wrong with you!?  Get in here and clean up after yourself!  That's not my job!  That's not the DM's job!  That's your responsibility as an adult to clean AND sanitize the play space after you've used it!  Throw away your condoms, wipe up your cum, and for the safety and health of everyone, use the spermicide cleaner provided by the dungeon (if they don't, demand that they DO) and wipe down everything you used and everything you didn't use!  Who knows what kind of infections may be swimming in that cum puddle?!  You want Chlamydia?  I sure as hell don't!  Wipe it down, soldier!  NOW!

Now I'm a really easy-going guy, and I'm not usually this angry or adamant about things, however I find these rules to be very important and I hope I have made myself absolutely clear on how critical they are. I can understand being new to a dungeon and all, but all dungeons should always have their rules posted somewhere, usually near the front or inside where people can see them.  Newbies, please read the rules, twice.  It's also especially irritating when a regular and frequent visitor to a dungeon is breaking these rules because not only should they know better, they should also be setting a better example for the newcomers.

Play Safe, and Be Considerate.