Saturday, July 30, 2011

Introduce Them Tenderly

Last week has indeed been very interesting.  I have been on both sides of the fence, as a helpless submissive, and now as a Mentoring Sir.

Now I don't feel I fit the projected role of an all-caps SIR, the one I fantasize to be an unfearing, animalistic, sadist with a leathered and choking grasp around his slave's neck.  (Yes that's an extreme, I am well aware, thank you.)  I like to think of myself as a Sensual Dominant.

A little backstory, first:

I met this boy at Califur 2011, what was first a playful, passing flirt in an elevator, turned into a boy eager to learn more about me, and the world I came from.  Boy A.  18 years-old and green as the grasses of the field, I saw a garden filled with potential.  I had him over one night, and I told him everything I could, so excited to be exposing this curious, eager mind to the beautiful world of fetishes and sexuality.  By sheer stroke of luck, my Alpha Sir was in the neighborhood, and when he inquired if I was available I eagerly answered yes!  This was meant to be!  Teaching a young mind about the world of fetishes and my mentor and Alpha Sir coming over!  More information!  More education!

I guess I became obsessed with teaching him, as Alpha Sir suggested I should put the textbook down and really look at boy A., and ask him what he wanted.  I was so caught up in making sure he was properly informed that I had neglected to look into his eyes and see a glimmer of lust. 

"What do you want to do?"

"Well, I kind of wanted to kiss you, if that's alright."

I didn't hesitate, and moved in to kiss him tenderly.  His lips felt grateful for it, and I was thankful as well.

Now, moving on to last week.

Boy A. and I met up at my apartment, talked for a good while, then headed out to dinner.  After our meal, I showed him The Crypt and educated him on what floggers were, and placed some pamphlets in his hand on the hanky code and safe fetish play procedures so he could read up on it later.  Heading back to my place we relaxed and the fun began.

Making sure he was comfortable, I asked if he would undress for me.  He did, and assured me it was what he wanted.  We stripped together, and I led him to the bed where we lay down and I held him and kissed him softly.

His skin is so soft, his lips so eager, he's so sweet and adorable.  A body well taken care of and something I would have ached to have at his age.  The intimacy continued, gently, slowly, our bodies resting comfortably upon my bed, eyes gazing softly.

His hand explored low, and I allowed him there.  He pleasured me well, kissing me, pleasing me until my peak and release.  Resting and dipping momentarily into unconsciousness, I lay there with him.  Then I returned the gift, tenderly kissing him, bringing him close, closer, more intimacy, more tenderness, and finally he climaxed.

As we lay there in the afterglow, he confessed to me that I was his first male sexual partner.

Wow.  I am someone's first.  I am very happy and honored to have this privilege.  I want to be his guide, his mentor, I want to make sure he's informed and educated, but also having the time of his life.

He's going to grow so well, I'm sure of it.

Play Safe.

Fierce Intensity

Last week I was graced with a visit from my Alpha Sir,  we met up at the Mineshaft and spent some time together, meeting a new face, and introducing me to the bartender.  Afterward we went over to the Paradise Piano Bar for a wonderful dinner.  Saying our farewells, Alpha Sir and I went back to my place and that's when my new experience began.

Stripped and naked, he gagged me in a bishop's head harness and bound me in a rope harness, but this time was much different.  He tied it very tightly, and bound my dick and balls.  This was something I had never experienced so intensely before, and so soon.  It hurt, very, very badly.  I begged through the gag as intelligibly as I could for him to release some of the pressure. 

He did not. 

It burned!  It rubbed me mercilessly with harsh fibers encircled around my helpless genitals, suffocating them of relief!  I begged, I howled in horrible suffering!  I couldn't stand up straight!  It hurt!  Alpha Sir finally held me from behind, and turned me to look in the mirror.  I saw myself, bound and helpless, and suffering horrible pain. 

"Breathe boy."

Oh god how I tried to breathe, every exhale was shuddered, I wept with frustration, I couldn't take it any more! 

"Don't you trust me boy?"

I trust you with my very life, Sir.

"Look at yourself boy."

I looked again, and I saw myself standing with my Alpha Sir, I shouldn't be complaining, I should be standing tall, against the pain and suffering.  Bearing it like a man.  Making my Alpha Sir proud of me, impressed with me.  Oh god did it hurt.  Eventually I started to take deep and flowing breaths.  Then he took me by my doorway, worked with the rope out of my vision and pulled.  I lifted a bit, he was tying me into a predicament position!  Oh shit, no.  Oh god!  My balls already ached, I had been screaming into the gag, and now I was forced to stand on the tips of my feet.  Completely at his mercy, he tortured me.  Biting and twisting my nipples, the pain was awful!  So much pain!  My balls ached and howled in agony, my nipples being tortured mercilessly, it was like a bondage hell. 

He was showing me the Sadist.  I have never met the Sadist before.  I have met the Tiger, the Tender, and now I have been introduced to the Sadist.  I am scared of the Sadist, a small place in my fear, which I must be true to, I would still kneel before him willingly.  He will not hurt me.

As much as I was so thankful for being released, and as much as I wouldn't want to be tortured like that again...I know it is helping me grow, helping me become stronger, and I know that Alpha Sir gets off on it.  I offer my body to him to play with, because I trust him, and I love him as my Alpha Sir.  I do get off on it all, agony is hell, but it leads to a release...a new venture I must take in order to shove my horizons ever further.

Play Safe, respect your limits, and play with intensity with someone you trust deeply.

Thank you, Sir.